Friends— not the 90s sitcom — the real and virtual ones we all have. This post is going to be about my experience with friends. I have been a loner most of my life so far because I was an introvert growing up. Some may know me as exact opposite but that would be an isolated situation. Over the years, I have tried hard to break out of my shell and reach out to people. I have to say, it takes a lot of efforts. I am sure any extrovert out there deciding to be less social or trusting would feel the same way I did when I was trying to be more social and a tad bit more trusting of others.
Cynicism comes naturally to me. Sarcasm is my shield and humor my mask. Basically, I was an awkward figure who didn’t really fit in. A year ago I noticed something on my Facebook page. I mostly preferred hanging out with my guy friends. Like any other girl who self identifies as drama-free and tomboy-ish, I was convinced I was more comfortable surrounded by guy friends than my girlfriends. So evidently, I had very few girlfriends and even fewer of them genuinely close. Co-ed schooling and my rebellion against the societal confinements had me convinced the drama-free guy friends were the peeps to be. I always preferred to be by myself and keep to the very few friends I had somehow managed to make.
As I grew older I was becoming more and more self-involved and that sort of handicapped me through my undergrad to find any meaningful relationships at all. Girl friends were mostly catty and guys were well “Guys”. Fast forward five years, I finally feel I have found my tribe. Friends who I can be myself with. I brought this up in a conversation with one of my girlfriends a few days ago and we both agreed it is so nice to hang out with people who are secure about themselves. You take in both their good and bad and try to make each other happier and stronger. It is a nice change to learn that not all women are always jealous or bitchy. Well, we may bond over it but it doesn’t necessarily have to be directed at each other. Mini and I always joke about how long legged skinny bitches should be banned from the Pastry shops 😛 and ice cream parlors LOL. I mean common, you can’t be eating stuff like that with a body that hot. But my other friend- JB (she will be happy to see her nickname acronym-ed here 😀 ), size 0, pretty AF; She gets a free pass. Hypocritical but that’s okay.
When you are surrounded by people who are confident and secure in their own skin, it exudes. It becomes less of a competition and more of a bond that strengthens you and makes you feel good about who you are. That’s how I would define ‘Friendship’. I came across this quote that captures that sentiment — “We always see our worst selves. Our most vulnerable selves. We need someone else to get close enough to tell us we’re wrong. Someone we trust.”
Positivity in one’s life is very important and even more important is to surround yourself with people how are uplifting and supportive.
I have had my share of “Frienemies”, dealing with their egos and insecurities and major drama scenes was a drain. I also remember how it had turned me into a person I didn’t identify with. My decision to only focus on girl and guy friends that I respect and admire and not let the “fake friends” take over my life has positively impacted in ways I can’t quantify. I have finally become more trusting and less cynical. And I think I should credit this to people around me.
Also, to let you guys know there isn’t any less drama in my tribe. I know people with amazingly diverse characteristics and great sense of humor. It is just mostly an endless Rohit Shetty movie with mindlessness, unlimited laughter and some harmless bitching! Might I also add such company is pretty damn contagious. 😝