It is more than a year since I last wrote a blog piece. Writing was more than just a hobby, something that I loved doing, something I was passionate about and I enjoyed it. It was kind of a therapy to me. Writing calmed me down, was a let out to all my packed up feelings and a reasonable manifestation of all the crazy mess going on in my little head. I don’t know why or how I stopped writing. Guess I grew up, that’s what happened! Well, isn’t it true that when people grow up and start their job, they slog for someone else until they get frustrated with their own self?
There is a tone of frustration in my voice? Not that I am not enjoying doing what I do. After all, its only been about a year since I started working in true sense. I get bored with things quite often and I’m one to seek new things constantly to keep me going. One year isn’t enough work to get frustrated, even for me. But that’s not what I am going for.
That slight sense of frustration in my voice here is because I realized that I wasted a year not doing something that I loved. I forgot about it. What saddens me more is that I see a lot of people around me who have forgotten what they loved and cherished for themselves. I see people working 14 -16 hours a day ( well, that’s normal for me too lately but that’s not the point) not knowing what really matters.
A couple of days ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about how I don’t get time to gym, I don’t find time to talk to my parents regularly. I am so involved in my work 24X7 that I get anxiety attacks when I lose network to my phone even for a few seconds or when it dies. I fear I might miss a meeting reminder or an important mail with urgent requirement. I have prioritized offshore calls at night over dinner with friends or gym or even cooking my supper. I have put on 20 pounds, I hardly return any of my friends’ calls, I don’t remember when was the last time I sat quietly listening to music or read a book.
Tipping point was when I cancelled going to my office party because I had to take this call with offshore team. When my work friends insisted I came over for a while, I reluctantly headed for an hour or so. Had a couple of glasses of wine. I got back online when I got home to reply to the emails I had received in two hours. Oh, my friend was along all the while, the one who flew across country to see me. FYI, I like my friend very dearly; in-fact we used to have a great time before I got sucked into corporate world.
So I began thinking if this was getting too much. And I think it was. It isn’t a bad thing to be so committed to work specially at the beginning of one’s career. But that doesn’t mean you give up or put everything else on hold. Sometimes you can get caught up with things you need to do for a living that you don’t realize you aren’t living at all. And most times it is too late to get back. You get caught up in this career driven void and everything else just slips away like it was never there. And then life becomes bland, a routine, an obligation to meet expectations, make payments and earn a living.
On the bright side, I realized no matter how busy I am with work and school, I need to pay attention to things beside work. So, I started reading a long pending novel, began writing again and watched Oz The Great and Powerful peacefully today without glancing at my phone once! I have been thinking of volunteering for a local non-profit, and I finally submitted the required forms.
We jump jobs, get laid off, are denied promotions, and suffer constant work pressure to meet deadlines. Our jobs are an aid to live, not the life in itself. You get to live once and I believe you should live like you own it and not like a labor bound to lifelong slavery. Only then can you explore your true interests, test what you are really good at and make life fulfilling and balanced.