Friendship for me is a relationship as important as any other. In present day I have come across so many people referring to their acquaintances as friends and many a times that has got me wondering what the term actually meant. ‘Friend’ for me is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard who gives assistance; a patron; a supporter. So for me acquaintanceship is not friendship. Ambivert that I am, I talk to many people everyday but when it comes to confiding in or counting someone as a friend I have my own very small set of people who add meaning to my life in someway or other.
I have lost a lot of people I thought were my friends who probably weren’t – story of my life – but also I have gathered few incredible people on the same way who I know are going to stay friends all my life* (* for probable change in the situation 😉 ). I have never really done any out-of-the-way favor nor ever have expected such things from friends that I have but what I do expect from my friends is honestly. Why just friends, for me every relationship is built on a foundation of undying trust and honesty. When you are not sure of your friends being honest with you, they aren’t really your friends! I have seen people bit@*ing about their own self-proclaimed so-called ‘friends’ in their absence and being all nice to their face. I don’t know what sort of friendship does that make.
When I was studying my graduation I had a girl who for me was a friend. She was the first person I had met at college and I believed in her not until two years later did I realize she wasn’t really a friend at all and since then she was just another girl from my class. That was not the first time I had encountered such a person so I was not torn apart though I was a little disappointed. I am a bit of a Gandhian (believer in non-violence, even verbal non-violence) so I generally let go off such people and move on. I wouldn’t say the thought of being mistrustful and turning cynical didn’t come to my mind but my philanthropic spirit kept me going.
I am a bit of a loud personality which often leads to people misjudging me. A lot of my present friends have told me that they discovered I was very different from their idea of what I would be when first met. The fact that I am aware of myself being misjudged by a lot of people, I have never really bothered trying to judge or analyze anybody and that sort of works for me since I believe there is no pretension or fakeness about the encountered person. I think that is the reason I have never really made any accidental friends :).
There are few friends that I don’t get to talk for months, years sometime but when we meet up or speak over the phone, it is like we have never been that disconnected (mostly we start from where we would have left the previous conversation). That is the beauty and strength of friendship. Being truthful or honest is not very difficult. There may come some circumstances where being truthful to your friend could become more important than being nice to them and many a times this might not go really well and cost you much more than ever anticipated. I have encountered such situations and I wouldn’t say I haven’t lost my friends in the process of being truthful to them for their own good but then again I don’t really regret that.
Friends are not sycophants praising us all the time and distancing themselves at our time of crisis, not bothering to correct when we go wrong. They are ones who kick our a#@$ and tell us we are wrong when required even if it means sacrificing the relationship. Some people or sometimes circumstances blind people so badly that they fail to see what is right and what is not and in such situations its best to do our bit and let go off. There are more new friends to be made and many more people to be met. You may never find the exact same person again but you at-least would have the conscience of doing good to your friend and being a ‘FRIEND’ in true sense.
[ Dedicated to all the wonderful friends of mine; Love you all]